the Wakefield Doctrine

the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers

Posts Tagged ‘Spatula in the Wilderness

the Wakefield Doctrine is “over there” so get on over, yo

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Stopped in here at the old homestead. Everything looks smaller but friendlier. Wish I knew how to link this directly or rather to have a feed of Posts come in from the Doctrine.

But for now just be sure to stop by: the Wakefield Doctrine and say hello


Program of Recovery as based on the Wakefield Doctrine

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Hey, come on people! The real Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) is over at I spend money to have that site over there so you should be there and not here!

But since you are here, lets talk about the Wakefield Doctrine, you go first!

Seriously, anyone who writes a Comment here and enables us to send it to you, will receive a Wakefield Doctrine hat (for your damn head)!
And if you are in a high enough demographic, you might be eligible for the first Wakefield Doctrine Varsity Jacket (“go old people!!!”)

So come on down…

I know there are some clarks reading this…so write something already.

Written by clarkscottroger

August 17, 2010 at 9:10 am

the Wakefield Doctrine (…”she said ‘Love’?, Lord above!”…)

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This is what we seem to have come to…interim Posts…(google wants new content!!!give google new content! NOW!!)

So wait ’til you see what we have in store for you all…the next Post (which is supposed to be this Post) will be the start of a series, a Case Study of the Wakefield Doctrine as it is applied to a work situation.
I suppose I could do the ‘set-up’ here now and then let DownSpring#1 have the whole Post for ‘exposition’. Nothing says that we can’t do two Posts back to back. Hey, this is the Wakefield Doctrine, we can do anything we want, goddamn it!

Oh, watch for a slight  change in the look of the Wakefield Doctrine by weeks end. Have gone the ‘self-hosting’ route (thanks a lot, Mel  lol) and while I am going to keep the changes to a minimum initially, you will see some look and feel differences. I have not even seen what it will look like. I did tell my consultant guy that I wanted the same: (the) Post center and the Map and other widgets in columns to the right and left.

Since we are just ‘vamping’, what the hell is going on with the time acceleration? Tell me I am the only one who  is seeing the rate of time passage/the degree of falling behind on day-to-day tasks increasing…noticeably. I really hope it is just me. I can deal with the problem of not keeping up, if this speeding up of time is a world-wide  phenomenon, then I might indulge in being worried.

Speaking of running out of time…March is Survey Questions Month! Sometime in the next week or so, look for a Post that is all about Survey Questions. The goal is to develop an online survey that will let Readers determine they type, yo.  It should consist of 10 or 20 questions, answer eac, hit Enter and find out the answer. Joanne is in charge and we are looking forward to ggreat things from her. (Joanne was recently elected Mistress of Testifying by a near unanimous vote of Progenitors and Downsprings) congratulations Joanne! (“…now you’re tryin to to trick me…” )

Okay…OKay stop this right here…! I may be a construct but OMFG at  least I am alive and young (of course  cute too) but that video!  no you stop…sure you are the ‘real’ people and yes you are writing this and I will even allow that it makes for a catchy subtitle…but the video!  omg I can’t believe you old people…look at the people in the video,  those are my grandparents!  NO, it does need to be pointed out…because not all your Readers are old, so very old…I can’t understand myself, but the fact is we have some Readers under the age of geriatric.  You must  control the nostalgia…facebook is full of people who are not trying to refer to cultures that are more than 1 generation dead…sorry, (not)… just my opinion…no, I realise the pressure of writing Posts…no really I am sure it is very difficult…as a matter of  fact I could!…no I am not joking..just say when…alright I will! but no ‘editorial review..’ no censorship (I heard what you did to poor Mr. Miller’s speech to the class a few weeks ago)…I think that all censorship is wrong…especially here…so what if what he said in his lecture was stupid, and only meant for shock value…don’t you think the Readers would know that he was a scott and is no more responsible for that kind of behaviour than the little puppy who poops on the rug because he has not yet been housebroken?..of course I am…so its a deal right?  full Post…any subject I want…and video and any friend i choose to invite…no I dont have any psychological twists to untangle in public…after all I am a Junior at Millard Fillmore High School  how wholesome is that?…why no,  I think the Janitor is simply a nice guy who made some bad choices…scottian women will do that to a guy…wouldn’t you like to know!  OK I better get to work…can’t wait to tell Britney…see ya.

Ok, Janie does have a point…about the old shit…so lets have some not so old shit to get us out…Don’t forget  Case Study  coming up. Will be fun and useful.

Hey Mel!  where do I stick the ad for the Rejuvo Pills that I can now sell cause I be sef-hosted?

Now for a little light  but enjoyable pop music to get out on…(13 seconds of commercial first but it should keep the MPAA at bay)

the Wakefield Doctrine (how can it be Sunday, if theres not a new Post. there must be a new Post cause its Sunday)

with 5 comments

(Before we begin, a word about….nah never mind.  You wouldn’t understand.  Forget I said anything.)

But no, let me say this,  I want to get a scott to say something about scotts. Here at the Doctrine we are in a developmental phase (soon to be announced watch this space!).   Anyway, one of the challenges here at the Wakefield Doctrine is that it is axiomatic that clarks are different from scotts and rogers.  And while I am an expert at the Doctrine, I will tend to write as a clark, which means that I am not speaking to the scotts or the rogers in their respective languages.  We will solve this problem soon, but right now I have to get a Post out because it is, as the subtitle plainly says, Sunday.

So Glenn, you are reading this on a daily basis.  Get the concierge to let you sign on and make a Comment.  A long Comment.  I will incorporate it into this Post.  Just write the words, I will handle everything else.
Ms. AKH, the same thing.  You are both scotts so give us some insight into the scottian nature.  As you both can see, I have divided what was to have been the Post into Themes A and B and C.  Use them as you see fit, address them or reference them, not caring.  I am the Producer, here are your sets, props, tools call them what you will.

Theme A
Let’s talk about scotts!  That’s! right!…scotts.  The scottian element.  The here and now only action speaks louder than…what was the question?  I act therefore I am.  The id and only “give me a primal“, “give me a drive.”..what’s that spell?  Who the fuck cares…scotts don’t need no steenkin spellin…

Even though this entire Post is on the subject of scotts, we do not have to do the dry…boring…how many words can we use to describe…clarklike approach.  And scotts are not dumb…(they may be stupid at times) but they are not dumb, rather quite intelligent in a quick witted, problem-solving, shortest-path, not particularly creative way.  Smart as a whip is often how they are described.

(You know how we loves our videos here at the Doctrine; not just for entertainment but for education, illustration, demonstration and elucidation….purposes.  Our discussion of the scottian nature is especially suited to illustration (by behavior as shown in said video.)

Theme B
It helps if you are a music fan in general and a (guitar) music fan in particular, but as this video shows us the scottian nature as it is totally focused on producing a (specific) reaction in the audience it is playing to…(this can be a literal audience as with Joe here or it can be a more figurative audience say the people at a party in front of whom the scott is telling ‘just over the line offensive’ jokes or is simply being an astonishingly provocative personality.  And since I just used the word, I think provocative is probably the most appropriate adverb(adjective?) who the f*&k knows  they want to get a reaction from their environment.  I was about to say, ‘their immediate environment’ but that would be un-necessary.  The immediate is the only thing for scotts.

Another (musical) example of the scottian personality as seen in an entertainer.


Theme C
For that matter, let me state the obvious:  this Post is not being written by a scott…(although efforts are being made to bring in a scott on this) so while the information that we are presenting on the nature of scotts is totally correct, the scottian Reader has long since wandered off in search for something more satisfying to chase.
So, why are we still typing? Because this is the Wakefield Doctrine (aka the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) it is not the

So there you have it.  A (scottian) do-it-yourself  Post.  Pick a Theme and write a Comment, your Producer will turn it into a Post.  Hats? did someone say hats? If you say hats, then I say….. CONTEST!!

Here is the Contest:  Reader(s) to take one of the Themes and write a Comment (of suitable length, say 250 words) from a scottian perspective.  Do this thing and you will win a hat for your damn head* Come one, take a chance write words what harm can it do, not like anyone is gonna read the fuckin thing.  Pixie, oh Pixieblonde you are our scottian ava of choice, come on down win a hat and I will throw in the first tee shirts as soon as they are delievered. (choice: I (heart) Janie Sullivan or (arrow to the right on front) saying: I’m with him (he is such a roger)

* Glenn and Ms. AKH not eligible.

Written by clarkscottroger

March 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

the Wakefield Doctrine (…so may I introduce to you, the act you’ve know for all these years…)

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“Good Morning  class”
(damn,they are so young…relax…remember, clark, this is a made up premise in an imaginary class in a Post of a 6 month old blog…nothing bad will happen…you can’t screw this up…)    

“How are you all you doin today?”
(doin? did you just say doin?  wtf are you thinking?  ok ok, don’t panic! this can still be saved)    

“Thank  you, Teacher for inviting me today.  You won’t be staying?  Teacher conference?  Oh, okay guess we’ll be alright here…How long is this class?  50 minutes?  No,  should be plenty of time.  Sure, you can close the door.  See you in an hour.”
(oh great…an hour in front of these kids, no other adult to shift attention to…what if they decide not to listen?  Goddamn why did I let that rogerian Teacher personage goad me into this, this fuckin sucks…screw this premise…I don’t have to do this, let him try and exert an influence on the path of the Doctrine on his own, let’s see how many Posts a week he gets out with nothing but a white screen and a classroom full of imaginary characters…)
(…still here…shit  well might as well do something…)

“Well class, I understand you are studying the Wakefield Doctrine…(jesus christ!!!) er,,,  I am told by the Teacher that you are very adept  at the Doctrine.”    

“Allow me to begin:  the Wakefield Doctrine is a way of understanding the behavior of those around us and is unique in that it is based on how a person perceives the world.  We consider this the starting point rather than trying to catalog behavior”…(you’re losing them!! lose them?  when the hell did you have them…you practised this, you know that you must engage the class first…otherwise you might as well talk to a wall)…” and not simply list behavior…blah, blah blah”    

“Yes? you in back?  Yes, I did say ‘blah, blah, blah’.
“From this seating chart Teacher gave me you must be Jimmy.  Yes, I would agree, Teacher would have a chart of who is sitting where.  No, I don’t see a Ms. AKH anywhere…student teacher?  Sure Jimmy  they would both be at the Teacher’s Lounge… then that would make the young lady in front of you Miss Janie Sullivan, no?  What?…no,  I am comfortable with addressing you as Miss Sullivan…What?…very good!  I am very clarklike.  I can see why Teacher speaks so highly of you…”    

“…the young lady next to you, Miss Sullivan, the one with the scarf and the hat and the bandana on…I saw you start to raise your hand…you have a question?…(no Jimmy I am sure she can answer for herself)…Britney is it?  what was your question…”Why?,  why what?  Miss Chambers… why the Doctrine?  or why am I here?”    

“One answer might be because I am the leading expert  on the Wakefield Doctrine…not buying that?  Nah, neither would I…a set up?  how very astute Miss Sullivan!”  And you, Britney, why do you agree that this is all a set up?  no Jimmy, let Britney answer…yes Britney…because that is what I would expect?  (lol)  very good.
You are all rather good at this Doctrine  thing, you know that?  Yes Miss…Janie  I don’t think Teacher quite ‘gets’ you, but you will just have to give him time to come to believe that this is all not so weird…enough Jimmy…Mr. Miller is the one you need to watch, not Teacher…”    

“Hey!..the hell with this premise…is that an empty seat between you and Britney?  good…then I am going to…let me just get some tape…and this picture I’m going to tape to the blackboard….right about….here…    



“Let me join you students…no, we will not be telling the Teacher…but the heck with the lecture..I’m just going to sit back here and we can throw questions at those three up in the front…ok?  No, Janie this will not affect your final grade for the class…well…because I wrote the material that you are studying…
…yes I am that one…older in the picture?  why thank you Britney…”    

“So, since we need to say we covered the Doctrine this hour, anyone have any questions that you couldn’t get an answer from Teacher on? or were afraid to ask? No?  here the let me start…”
             ‘hey! clark-on-the-blackboard’,  didn’t you think there was a reason that you always had the same two friends, despite how much of an asshole you thought you really were?  huh?’ 
“(lol) no, Janie  the clarks have that as their fundamental premise…they know they are awful and if they can only get through the day without anyone finding out then it is a good day…really  ask your friend Britney…”
“What’s that Britney?  sure  go ahead ask the three ‘wise men’…”
               ‘hey Wakefield dudes, why did it take the weakest of the three of you to keep at this thing long enough to become a blog…did you never think that you were not interdependent?’  (good one Miss Chambers,  lol)”
(ok, clark  slow it down  you are getting a little lost in character…make a point that all of your 25 Readers can take from this very odd Post…something they can’t ignore)     

“Hey guys.  I got to go…no this will be our little secret…you all know Doctrine well enough to fake it when Teacher comes back and asks about the ‘Lecture’…Janie?  he really admires you but is afraid you will turn out to be scottian…Jimmy, you he knows is a scott, (lol)…Britney…yes this is a bit like the Wizard of Oz…Britney you know the answer…you can see that as much as he needs to believe it, Teacher is afraid of being left behind in a herd that he has evolved beyond.  No, he would never admit it, especially to you as a clarkrogers need the dumb parishioners to shepherd to the Promised Land and to protect from Sin…they can only feel better in contrast” .   

“No, you guys will do alright…Janie?  Ms. AKH was a lot like you when she was a student like…yes I knew her then…no!  Jimmy, that is so scottian of you to say…why the girls like you so much is a depressing validation to the social biologist…”    

“Hey, that Custodian that went by…is that old Mr. B.?  damn, I haven’t seen him since I can’t remember…very good Britney he is a roger…the first roger in a sense  too bad the call of the scott drowned out his higher brain function…what might have been?  fuck that…what it is is all that it is, kids….(lol) please don’t repeat that Janie..”    

“Does he still have videos and things?  Sure Janie, ask him to help us fill that last 6 minutes of the class and I’ll just slip on out that door…”    

Written by clarkscottroger

March 17, 2010 at 8:26 pm

the Wakefield Doctrine ( CSR 101)

with one comment

     All right, you people, let’s settle down now…It’s been a long break, and we’ve got a ton of new material to cover. I had to notice that no one turned in their ” The Office” home work as requested. ( The Answer I was hoping for? They’re all Rogers!)

     Okay. Today is very special. Today is freaking huge. We have a guest speaker. Or should I say, Guest Speaker. So get out the No.2’s and notebooks, take good notes, and submit your questions and comments in the appropriate place.  Please remember that this is an open forum, and decorum is much appreciated. Our guest’s text will appear as the entire uninterrupted body of the next post. What I’m doing here is generally referred to as ” setting up”. Deemed necessary, because this is a bit of an unusual situation. You’ll see why momentarily.

     We all know him in one regard or another. Downsprings have known him for eons. Acolytes are just getting started, and might be just a bit intimidated. He’s either poking, cajoling, prodding, editing, or selling you a damn hat for your damn head. Putting fires out. Or starting them. Whatever  ” the Doctrine” seems to require.  That’s all quite normal in this day and age.

     There’s one thing, though, that would be way,way out of the box. Way out of the comfort zone. He’s the only person I know with the personal courage to go directly into an excruciatingly uncomfortable spot in spite of himself. Be assured, you would not see either a Roger or a Scott do this.

     The Clark…Unplugged.  Actually, take out the ” The “, too. 

     So… we have Clark. In the “first person”. That is to say, without the affectation of being a blog editor, fake school principal, street interviewer, SL avatar, hat salesman….none of that.  Just the guy who started this thing. ( And for the historical record, this ” thing” dates back to about March of 1975; park bench, Wakefield RI. I know; I was on the other end of that bench.) The damn bench remains; so does the damn doctrine. So get your damn hat on your damn head and check this out….

the Wakefield Doctrine ( From One Progenitor to Another)

with 2 comments

     Of course you’re still writing. Why in the world would you stop?  New readers, new acolytes, new venues… all truly and genuinely phenomenal progress. This has come many light-years from the park bench by the tennis courts, across from the Old Mountain field….and now, thrown as many light-years into the future, we are in a universe where the progressive musings of the Clark are changing people’s lives.

     No need to panic. Where the historic Clark would be long gone, it turns out that the new (est) Digital Clark is actually quite good at this. Posts still have a healthy dose of gut-wrenching Clarkian angst, but overall are longer, more smoothly composed and less abstract. People are getting it. Turns out that you don’t need a secret treble booster in the wah pedal; just turn the sucker up and fly with it. It works, that’s been proven; now just let it do so.

     As for me… not entirely sure. I just haven’t had anything worth offering lately. And I haven’t an editing schedule to keep, thank God. I have found myself noodling about with a bit of a new radical” concept of late. I just need a bit more to go on before allowing the idea to advance. Right now it feels much like the ending of  ” the Sixth Sense”, and somebody around here is Bruce Willis… now that’s cryptic. Can’t say anything more without some good solid forensic and detective work. Just wish I actually knew how to do good solid forensic and detective work. Oh, well. I’ll just have to push on anyway. Will check in when I’ve got anything of interest.

Written by clarkscottroger

March 15, 2010 at 3:49 pm