the Wakefield Doctrine

the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers

the Wakefield Doctrine (…so may I introduce to you, the act you’ve know for all these years…)

with one comment

“Good Morning  class”
(damn,they are so young…relax…remember, clark, this is a made up premise in an imaginary class in a Post of a 6 month old blog…nothing bad will happen…you can’t screw this up…)    

“How are you all you doin today?”
(doin? did you just say doin?  wtf are you thinking?  ok ok, don’t panic! this can still be saved)    

“Thank  you, Teacher for inviting me today.  You won’t be staying?  Teacher conference?  Oh, okay guess we’ll be alright here…How long is this class?  50 minutes?  No,  should be plenty of time.  Sure, you can close the door.  See you in an hour.”
(oh great…an hour in front of these kids, no other adult to shift attention to…what if they decide not to listen?  Goddamn why did I let that rogerian Teacher personage goad me into this, this fuckin sucks…screw this premise…I don’t have to do this, let him try and exert an influence on the path of the Doctrine on his own, let’s see how many Posts a week he gets out with nothing but a white screen and a classroom full of imaginary characters…)
(…still here…shit  well might as well do something…)

“Well class, I understand you are studying the Wakefield Doctrine…(jesus christ!!!) er,,,  I am told by the Teacher that you are very adept  at the Doctrine.”    

“Allow me to begin:  the Wakefield Doctrine is a way of understanding the behavior of those around us and is unique in that it is based on how a person perceives the world.  We consider this the starting point rather than trying to catalog behavior”…(you’re losing them!! lose them?  when the hell did you have them…you practised this, you know that you must engage the class first…otherwise you might as well talk to a wall)…” and not simply list behavior…blah, blah blah”    

“Yes? you in back?  Yes, I did say ‘blah, blah, blah’.
“From this seating chart Teacher gave me you must be Jimmy.  Yes, I would agree, Teacher would have a chart of who is sitting where.  No, I don’t see a Ms. AKH anywhere…student teacher?  Sure Jimmy  they would both be at the Teacher’s Lounge… then that would make the young lady in front of you Miss Janie Sullivan, no?  What?…no,  I am comfortable with addressing you as Miss Sullivan…What?…very good!  I am very clarklike.  I can see why Teacher speaks so highly of you…”    

“…the young lady next to you, Miss Sullivan, the one with the scarf and the hat and the bandana on…I saw you start to raise your hand…you have a question?…(no Jimmy I am sure she can answer for herself)…Britney is it?  what was your question…”Why?,  why what?  Miss Chambers… why the Doctrine?  or why am I here?”    

“One answer might be because I am the leading expert  on the Wakefield Doctrine…not buying that?  Nah, neither would I…a set up?  how very astute Miss Sullivan!”  And you, Britney, why do you agree that this is all a set up?  no Jimmy, let Britney answer…yes Britney…because that is what I would expect?  (lol)  very good.
You are all rather good at this Doctrine  thing, you know that?  Yes Miss…Janie  I don’t think Teacher quite ‘gets’ you, but you will just have to give him time to come to believe that this is all not so weird…enough Jimmy…Mr. Miller is the one you need to watch, not Teacher…”    

“Hey!..the hell with this premise…is that an empty seat between you and Britney?  good…then I am going to…let me just get some tape…and this picture I’m going to tape to the blackboard….right about….here…    



“Let me join you students…no, we will not be telling the Teacher…but the heck with the lecture..I’m just going to sit back here and we can throw questions at those three up in the front…ok?  No, Janie this will not affect your final grade for the class…well…because I wrote the material that you are studying…
…yes I am that one…older in the picture?  why thank you Britney…”    

“So, since we need to say we covered the Doctrine this hour, anyone have any questions that you couldn’t get an answer from Teacher on? or were afraid to ask? No?  here the let me start…”
             ‘hey! clark-on-the-blackboard’,  didn’t you think there was a reason that you always had the same two friends, despite how much of an asshole you thought you really were?  huh?’ 
“(lol) no, Janie  the clarks have that as their fundamental premise…they know they are awful and if they can only get through the day without anyone finding out then it is a good day…really  ask your friend Britney…”
“What’s that Britney?  sure  go ahead ask the three ‘wise men’…”
               ‘hey Wakefield dudes, why did it take the weakest of the three of you to keep at this thing long enough to become a blog…did you never think that you were not interdependent?’  (good one Miss Chambers,  lol)”
(ok, clark  slow it down  you are getting a little lost in character…make a point that all of your 25 Readers can take from this very odd Post…something they can’t ignore)     

“Hey guys.  I got to go…no this will be our little secret…you all know Doctrine well enough to fake it when Teacher comes back and asks about the ‘Lecture’…Janie?  he really admires you but is afraid you will turn out to be scottian…Jimmy, you he knows is a scott, (lol)…Britney…yes this is a bit like the Wizard of Oz…Britney you know the answer…you can see that as much as he needs to believe it, Teacher is afraid of being left behind in a herd that he has evolved beyond.  No, he would never admit it, especially to you as a clarkrogers need the dumb parishioners to shepherd to the Promised Land and to protect from Sin…they can only feel better in contrast” .   

“No, you guys will do alright…Janie?  Ms. AKH was a lot like you when she was a student like…yes I knew her then…no!  Jimmy, that is so scottian of you to say…why the girls like you so much is a depressing validation to the social biologist…”    

“Hey, that Custodian that went by…is that old Mr. B.?  damn, I haven’t seen him since I can’t remember…very good Britney he is a roger…the first roger in a sense  too bad the call of the scott drowned out his higher brain function…what might have been?  fuck that…what it is is all that it is, kids….(lol) please don’t repeat that Janie..”    

“Does he still have videos and things?  Sure Janie, ask him to help us fill that last 6 minutes of the class and I’ll just slip on out that door…”    


Written by clarkscottroger

March 17, 2010 at 8:26 pm

One Response

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  1. Damn…a good Post other-self-farther-up-the-timeline dude!

    This is future clark commentationing on this Post from about 8 or 9 months in the future (relative to the writing of this Post).
    Hey, send some of that creative shit forward, clark it is getting a bit on the sparse side up here!
    But still writing…today being August 15 2010 yo


    August 15, 2010 at 8:03 am

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