the Wakefield Doctrine

the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers

the Wakefield Doctrine (…’No time to say hello. Goodbye. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.’…)

with 2 comments

(It is so like this blog to use the more obscure portion of famous quotes. Who’s a clark?) 

I do apologise for the delay in getting this Post to press,  feeling especially bad about there being only two new Posts in the course of this week. Interesting, (to me that is) that it should bother me but, as we have been alluding to in recent Posts, the Doctrine is not only a tool to understand others, it is also a tool to alter oneself. Much more to say on that topic in coming Posts, but to today’s Post. 

Everything we do here is intended to advance the understanding of the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) among both our established Readers and the first time visitor. Given that there are only so many ways to say: ‘a clark thinks, a scott acts and a roger feels’, or …’a scott in a room alone isn’t’  or even, ‘show me a roger with sufficient and guaranteed food supplies and I will show you the fall of an Empire’…you know, the kinds of things we say here backstage at Doctrine HQ.
As an alternative to simply repeating  Doctrine-sanctioned cant, we offer a ‘storyline’,  A story about a high school somewhere (Millard Fillmore High); a class in the Wakefield Doctrine (CSR 101); several teachers, a principle, a guest lecturer and three students (including the precocious Miss Janie Sullivan). We use this ‘device’ as a vehicle to present the Wakefield Doctrine in a more everyday (and hopefully more entertaining) setting. (If your everyday setting is populated by/of imaginary beings, that is) 

And so today’s Post. 

(We find a certain, well regarded, tenured Teacher Miss Dowd as she catches up with Glenn Miller (who gave a lecture to the class recently) and Ms. AKH a practicum teacher who may be filling in for the regular teacher who is on sabbatical). 

Miss Dowd: Oh, there you two are! I was hoping to catch you before you left. Mr. Miller! I caught your lecture on the CCTV and I must say I was impressed. Although I have to admit at first I thought, “oh great. Another personal coach life trainer with a penchant for the off-color references”.  But then I looked at the reaction of the class, and they were captivated! Very well done!
And you Ms. AKH, you have the makings of a very good teacher, I was just in the classroom and they are still talking about your class. You have the gift, your enthusiasm becomes theirs. 

Glenn Miller: Thanks, Miss Dowd. They are easy students to teach. One of them seems particularly easy. 

(Miss Dowd:   Explain yourself Mr. Miller.  If you think you are “shocking” me. Think again.)    

Ms.AKH:  Poor Janie. She just can’t help herself. As this is the first class I’m teaching, it’s a bit more challenging for me. Those  ‘Three Musketeers’ can be very distracting to the class. However, in a way, they are beneficial in that they are shining examples of the (theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) for the class to observe first hand. 

Miss Dowd:  It’s not your place to feel sorry for anyone Ms. AKH, nor make excuses.  Do not underestimate them. If you do your job well those “Musketeers” one day are going to be running our financial institutions, making government policy, discovering cures for diseases and taking us into outer space.  You make sure those “shining examples” are understood by everyone.  It may be entertaining at times but the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers is no laughing matter.  …In any event.. The CSR 101 class is still without a teacher…yes, very sad..soon I hear…but the class is doing independent study and one of the teams asked if I would ask you two the following question:

“Who do you see in the popular culture at large that most exemplifies the clark, and the scott and the roger “ 

Glenn Miller: clarklikeness is exemplified for me by comedian Steven Wright. His thoughts are off-beat, weird, funny and oddly interesting.  He is the dictionary definition of a clark.  For a scott, the example that comes to mind is LBJ.  I know.  Not exactly contemporary, but  He was very attuned to power and and it’s effective use.  One of his power moves was to invite subordinates in to talk with him and during the conversation he would move them along with him to the bathroom off his office.  He would pull down his trousers, and take a dump while continuing the conversation.  Primitive, and effective.  Classic display of raw primitive power.  Any scott would just have to love that move.  For a roger, I think of that queen of all that is good, righteous, and proper:Oprah Winfrey. Like the roger she is, she revels in defining for the rest of us what we all SHOULD be doing and thinking.  She takes herself very seriously.  It is always personal for her.  The other rogers buy in and willingly look to her to find out what books they should read, what political candidates they should vote for, and how they should feel about everything.  Without Oprah to tell them, how would they know?  The whole Oprah phenomenon is a rogerfest. 

Ms. AKH: Einstein!!  Really!  A true thinker.  Just look at the size of his head!  Einstein’s all-consuming energy to learn and theorize about what makes things tick, to put it simply, is a classic clark characteristic. Always striving for more information, a clark will stop at nothing until he is satisfied that all possibilities have been exhausted. This inward inclination can sometimes make a clark seem distant, unaware of what is going on around him.  But the wheels are incessantly turning. Donald Trump stands out when I think about a scott.  Right off the bat you’ll notice his eyes.  They appear to be squinting.  But don’t be fooled by this ploy to hide his predatory intent as he focuses on his next prey.  He emits congeniality while sizing up his next victim.  And just look at the empire he has built for himself.  All of his properties have his name attached: Trump Tower, Trump Casino and Resorts, Trump Taj Mahal, you get the picture.  Finally, who but a self-important scott could get away with that hair and  nickname ‘The Donald’?
Rogers, rogers, rogers. What a herd of do-gooders.  The talk show hosts (i.e. Glenn’s choice of Oprah), Tyra Banks, Dr. Phil. Tough to pick just one so I’ll move on. Don’t want to rock the boat, but Jesus Christ (or any prominent religious leader for that matter) was a roger in my book.  Calm down, this has nothing to do with one’s religious beliefs or morals, rights or wrongs.  It is purely observational – who he was as a man.  Who else could be so entirely selfless while spreading what he believed to be word and healing people without being judgmental.  Who would die on a cross for his/her people?  All was for the greater good of the herd.  Look at the disciples and droves of people who followed him.          

Miss Dowd: And what makes you think that this are the best examples? 

Glenn Miller: Generally when I think something, my brain is what makes me think it.  There is another organ with which I have been accused of thinking, but I fear that Principal Clark would not appreciate any reference to that subject within earshot of his innocent and naïve students. Or any of his other students. 

Ms. AKH:  I concur with Glenn except for the second part (given my anatomy). 

Miss Dowd:  Ms. AKH!  Remember you are a lady!  

Miss Dowd: Thank you so much! I know that the children will be excited…I know, they are not really children but I have been doing this for so long  I think of them as my kids…even if the other teachers may laugh about old Miss Dowd…laughs

Where the heck is that VC (video custodian)? Hey Mr. B!  You want to stay and maybe become a permanent character you can’t be hiding, making time with other guys girlfriends. Come on, lets have something different for today. 


Written by clarkscottroger

February 19, 2010 at 11:36 am

2 Responses

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  1. The part by Glenn was fantastic! That guy is a fucking genius!

    Glenn Miller

    February 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm

  2. clap, clap clap since you are mentioning it:

    Ms.AKH? Downspring#1?
    (please ‘stand up’)

    thank you on behalf of the Doctrine…good work!
    (in the distance…whistles and assorted animal noises…)

    Now find one person today and explain the Wakefield Doctrine and get them to come here and read this thing…today.


    February 19, 2010 at 3:24 pm

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