the Wakefield Doctrine

the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers

the Wakefield Doctrine (it’s the first ‘find the clark’ day, hooray!, hooray!)

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Thursday and it’s ‘find the clark‘ day already. Where does the time go?

(Being the First ‘find the clark‘ day a little bit of guidance and ground rules….HEY! look out! hes going to try and teach shit again. ‘what a clark‘)

Hey! rather than tell you what you are looking for…(clarks, I need you to leave the room, stop reading this thing. We want you to act ‘naturally’ (ha, ha) today.)… First lets look at some quick film clips:



(Arent they both so precious?)

(You might get ‘lucky’ and have a clark in your environment who has not yet figured out how not to be a ‘blue monkey1)

The rules are simple: find the clark in your world today. Don’t do anything (…scott, I’m talking to you). Just learn spot a clark. Male or female does not matter.
The obvious point (obvious point? no! tell me it ain’t so!), is that the clarks comprise the least visible of the three types. They wear protective coloration the way that lesbians wear leather. But this blending in is very different from the homogenous look of a herd of rogers, or the loud and flashy colors of the lone scott.

Anyway, here are some quick tips for spotting the elusive clarks: the clarklike females love their shoes, the bigger, the clunkier, the better. Also something strange with their heads. (The video clip of Flo is perfect. She seems normal enough from a distance, but then you see the shoes, and when she starts talking, her eyes go all, ‘hello out there! how is planet earth today?’)
As to the male clarks? Damn, just walk up and talk to them. (Eye contact? We don’t need no steenkin eye contact). And also look for the ‘hunched shoulders’. Acquired as a result of years as a ‘young person’, anticipating the spitball from the back of the room. (yeah, scott, nobody spotted who the adhd kid was, did they?).

So, go get ’em.

1)’Blue Monkey’ was a famous experiment where some scottian psychologist (yeah, like that would happen) convinced some rogers that it would be fun to take one monkey from the group, paint him blue and send him home. You can guess the outcome. (Love the schadenfreude streak, scott. Wait till ‘tag a scott day!”)


Written by clarkscottroger

November 5, 2009 at 8:43 am

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